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2012: A Belated Reflection

First, I start off with an apology. I’m probably the worst person with consistency in anything, unless I have deadlines. This is a pure confession, but I can offer nothing more.

Now, I’ve been finding myself wanting to reflect about the past year over the past few weeks, but one of the things you shouldn’t do to yourself when you’re sick is make your brain work. While I’m not to 100% capacity, I can’t find myself stalling any longer.

Read the rest of this entry

Things

This past week has been crazy. Actually, no, that’s a lie, my whole life has been crazy…but especially the past week and a half or so.

ANYWAYS! Here’s some things that have made me happy over the last little bit (hopefully they make you happy as well)!

First off: AWESOMENESS! My latest article over at SciFi4Me focused on why being a geek is awesome. Read the rest of this entry

Contemplations

Well, I managed to survive the weekend. I’m still not 100% sure how, especially since the earliest I got to be was about 1:30am. I must be some sort of magic. Or something.

Blondie’s moved in, I got to see my Molly, and I got to hang out drinking and sharing my love of wine with those adventurous enough to take on the Delaware Wine Walk (okay, well, those who really felt like just showing up, but…hey…it sounded cooler to make it seem daring). I also got to ride my first roller coaster in years (it really just makes me sad that I’ve not been on one in so long…). But the main theme of the weekend? Thinking.

Yeah, it’s surprising considering all that was going on, but I guess I pulled out the multitasking. My biggest thought was pretty simple: I wish I didn’t have to work. I realize many people have that same thought, but I don’t just mean for the sleep in until noon and lounge around in my underwear aspect. I mean I really want to be able to just write for a living. I’m sick of the paycheck to paycheck grind. While my day job isn’t exactly difficult, nor is it a bad one (on the contrary, I actually work for an amazing company doing something I’m pretty darn good at), it’s just not what I want to do.

I spent three hours talking about wine basically nonstop on Saturday. It felt like five minutes, really. I could do that all day! The inspiration hit me again that I need to be writing more seriously about this stuff, that I need to restart The Lush…Certified, or something…just do something at the very least! Then reality kicked in. I’m already trying to balance my time with SciFi4Me (a job I love even more than my day job) and personal writing, as well as maintaining my apartment and bills along with attempting fiction writing (oh, and a nonfiction project that’s not really gone anywhere yet). With all of that and helping out with anything else (such as the Delaware Wine Walk), I just don’t have time to do it. Especially considering the amount of work that goes into a lot of those articles, I’d be stretching myself pretty thin. It’s harsh reality, but, with my current needs, I just don’t see myself pulling it off…at least in the sense of doing the topic any justice. Would anyone like to just pay me to write? 🙂

Thoughts? Suggestions? Should I restart The Lush…Certified, or at least something in that sense?

Definitely a slacker…

Okay, so I broke my promise to myself. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I entirely missed Top Ten Tuesday, but I blame the craziness of the week. I’ve been going basically nonstop since Sunday’s Echo Chamber and this weekend will be no different. As a matter of fact, I only just published The Geekly with a Twist at noon. I’m planning to go pick up Blondie this evening so she can fill out transfer papers for work and run to the store for some last-minute stuff for packing and the boyfriend and I also have two friends coming into town (our GM and his brother, so maybe fingers crossed for some gaming). Tomorrow is the company picnic for my boyfriend at Worlds of Fun (the local theme park), the Delaware Wine Walk (a local area wine event where I’ll be pouring and the amazing Molly Montgomery will be showing her art). Sunday features the boyfriend’s birthday and also move-in day for Blondie. All this, and it’s likely to rain. Normally I love the rain, but I’m not sure that’ll apply this weekend.

So, honestly, I turn to what’s going to keep me going. Part if it is going to be copious amounts of caffeine, some if it is going to be wine, another big part will be my little miss Amoretta (who is totally breaking out of her shell even more…but more on that later), but largely, I’m going to have to fall to music.

Yup. Music.

I don’t sing (definitely not in public aside from one karaoke incident in an attempt to conquer my fear), I haven’t played a musical instrument since the 8th grade (violas are still way better than violins, though), and I never took classes on music appreciation or anything in high school. Regardless, it’s been an important part of my life for years, and it is highly responsible for things from my mood to my energy level. So, here’s the music on my mind right now…

(Disclaimer: Pictures and videos are property of their respective artists)

The Guild’s “I’m the One That’s Cool”- It’s my ringtone lately and the first song I register when I wake up in the morning. While it’s provoked some undue controversy (it’s not about discrediting “casual” geeks, it’s about rebelling against the types that picked on those of us of the geeky persuasion), it’s an anthem for me lately.

Weird Al Yankovic’s “White & Nerdy”- MC Escher’s birthday is this week so my brain went to the lyrics of the hilarious parody.

Mark Cohn’s “Walking in Memphis”- There’s been remakes of this song, but, to me, the original reigns King. The song always takes me back to a few trips to the city when I was younger and I especially love a few of the lyrics (‘She said “Tell me are you a Christian child?”/And I said, “Ma’am, I am tonight”…’gives me the chills every time, honestly.)

Image Courtesy of Jason Persse

Florence + the Machine…well, anything. I’ve really fallen hard for the sound of the band, Florence Welch’s voice is ethereal and the music is interesting. It draws me in and helps me forget…but it’s also really relaxing most of the time.

The Doobie Brothers’ “Black Water”- I heard this song on the radio this morning and it really picked me up. It reminds me of days of riding in the car with my dad and just listening to good music in good times. It’s my dad’s fault I love bands like The Doobie Brothers, The Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and more. He’s also the one that turned me onto Blues Traveller and is the reason for a lot of my music tastes (oddly enough).

Of Monsters and Men “Little Talks”- This one is really out of my normal range of tastes (which are vast anyways, but primarily focus on 70s rock, 90s alternative and pop, and modern rock and country), but I fell in love with the swingy feel of this song.

Disturbed’s “Prayer”- I consider myself highly fortunate to have seen Disturbed at Rockfest last year because it was one of their last shows before the “indefinite hiatus.” Disturbed is what brought me back to rock after my 14 year old brain’s obsession with alternative and pop (I was an ‘N SYNC girl, in case you were wondering). “Prayer” was playing on MTV with such a powerful video and fully attractive singer (I think it’s the first time I’ve ever been attracted to a bald man…and probably the first person with facial piercings I was attracted to…a far cry from JC).

So, that’s the music keeping me going right now. Anyone have anymore suggestions on what I should listen to this weekend? Maybe something upbeat?

Roomies

Sorry about my lack of a post yesterday, I was sick at home with a migraine. Yeah, those are not fun.

So! In news, the boyfriend and I are doing something I never thought I’d do again…getting a roommate. Our last experience was, shall we say, volatile at best, so this is mostly unexpected. But, then again, it’s pretty expected at the same time. I realize that sounds odd, but it’s the situation specifics here: it’s his cousin.

In honor of respecting privacy, we can just call her Blondie Dorkus Scaredy-Cat. Or Blondie. Yeah, that’s fitting. 🙂

Now, normally, I go by my code…I’ve just learned not to stray over the years. The code is simple:

  1. Don’t rent with anyone you’d like to stay friends with…
  2. Don’t let anyone get away with not paying their share…
  3. and don’t rent without a contract with your renter.

Well, I’m throwing #1 out the window because of this exception: Blondie is family. Not by blood, not really in any way. Her mother is married to the boyfriend’s uncle. Regardless…have you ever heard that quote about friends being the family you choose? Well, even if she wasn’t family, I’d choose her in a heartbeat. Besides, she’s 19 years old and trying to get out on her own feet. Her other option was to move in with a pair of friends also just getting started and that’s always a rough situation. I just really hope that, with the start we’re going to be giving her, she’ll be able to land on both feet nicely. At least, better than both the boyfriend and I’s first times moving out…

Mine was an utter wreck. Both times, really. The first time I was actually kicked out of my parents’ house when I was 17. (Side note: I didn’t smoke, do drugs, or get failing grades. I was in challenge classes in school, the difference was I was being a stupid teenager and my dad and I were like oil and water.) I moved to St. Joseph with some people that I trusted incorrectly and ended up being kicked out of there when the wife had a bipolar attack. I lost a lot of stuff in that move which I had acquired while living there, namely my 1st English edition of the fairy tales by The Brothers Grimm and 3rd edition Edgar Alan Poes (bequeathed to me by my ex’s grandmother). The loss of the books was a heartbreak.

The second time I moved out, I was 18. I left basically impossibly quickly with a tote to my name and nothing else. I had to quit my job and I ended up living with some friends and my ex working a dead end job. Minimum wage was only $6.50 at the time and I was working enough to be losing money because of taxes as well as babysitting for my friends’ three kids. Then, when I moved in with just my ex and another friend, I was walking everywhere. I walked to and from work and nearly starved because my ex could eat a truck and still be hungry.

I’ve felt the fear of being homeless, I’ve faced starvation, I’ve learned what it means to literally have nothing, I’ve lost friends and money and stability, I’ve walked through hell and come out the other side. It leaves you wanting to give the best start for those you care about. Because of this, I realize just how adult I have become. Of course, that doesn’t make me any less of a big kid…thank goodness.