Yup, I know, long time no write. Life happens and tends to get in the way of plans. But today, I’ve got something on my mind.
You know, they say you should always write about what you know. I’ve been seeking knowledge for years, always pushing myself in one way or another. I have pushed myself into learning about history, mythology, theology, science, health, politics, art, and much more. I’ve studied everything from the stories of faeries to the lives of prolific authors, I know the difference between whiskey and whisky, and I can navigate between point A and B in my hometown with my eyes closed. The hardest part is what I don’t know. By personality and character flaw, I’m loath to admit something I don’t understand or readily have knowledge of- oftentimes I gloss over these moments. But, there is a problem with my lack of a particular subject. No, I’m not troubled that I don’t understand advanced trigonometry or that I am not well-versed in programming languages- it’s something much more troubling:
I don’t know myself.
Perhaps it is the root of my writer’s block or the thing which keeps me just unorganized enough to never finish my stories. Maybe it’s not blocking me at all and is just an excuse. Regardless, it’s troubling.
I’ve been seeking myself for years, but instead often find myself seeking else. I start down one path and end up walking down five others. It is as if I have gone into the woods with a destination in mind, only to find myself diverting to chase after an animal or follow the sound of a stream. Having wandered, confused, I am now curled in the roots of a tree, protecting and sheltering myself from the villains that have come and gone in the night. Those who once walked beside me now hunt me and haunt me, long gone on different paths I might or might not have taken. I feel as though I seek comfort in familiarity, but it’s doing me no good in the big picture of things. I drive myself forward in spurts, frustration getting the better of me and sending me from my so-called safety. My emotions are letting fear get the better of me and I’m done with it.
But, what do I know?
Yeah, this mouse doesn’t have time to play. One of my coworkers at the day job commented to me today that I’ve been “awfully quiet” over the past two days. Well, honestly, it’s because my editor over at SciFi4Me has been busy at his day job. So, since I have access to a computer for work, guess who a lot of the work falls to?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not remotely complaining. I consider it an honor to be among awesome people such as the current “Gang of Meddling Kids” (including the likes of Debbie of Seshat Travels, Kansas City Horror Club President Curtis Smith, and artist Molly Montgomery) and be able to be trusted to have my judgement trusted on publishing. I’ve just had a lot of stuff to get done on little sleep and time.
As a point of reference, since 8am yesterday morning, I’ve published my review of Diablo 3, a news article about Day One of E3, a Roundup of the latest news about The Hobbit, and an article in adoring memory of Ray Bradbury. I’ve also started research for my news article about Day Two of E3, this week’s Geekly with a Twist, and started drafting my review ontwo different books I’ve finished recently.
So, what on earth am I doing over here? Well, one, I’m totally procrastinating. I don’t have the ability to watch stupid YouTube videos at work, so, you know, there’s got to be something to kill some time! Aside from that, it’s a perfect mental break. Being able to write what I want is the perfect relief from any stress built up by the rigors of specific formats and genre news writing. Again, don’t get me wrong, I love my “job” as a contributor for SciFi4Me, but every once in a while I need to talk about what’s on my mind as opposed to what’s in the current media.
Thanks for listening. 🙂 You’ve earned a baby hippo!
I swear, sometimes I realize just how much my dog makes me happy.
I know, this isn’t exactly a conventional first post for a blog, but it’s the biggest thing on my mind right now and it’s really got to be said.
Tonight is the best recent example of my amazing Australian Cattle Dog, Amoretta, being one of the best influences in my life. You know, in spite of things it was going pretty great. Yeah, the shoot for SciFi4Me‘s monthly, Comic Con Carne, was dropped on the production crew at last minute, but stuff like that happens. Yeah, it was a Monday at work after my four day weekend, but Mondays happen (once a week as a matter of fact). Yeah, I haven’t gotten my Diablo 3 review done (still, I blame the servers being down yesterday)…but in the scope of things it was a pretty easy day. And then tonight happened. I had to be late to the shoot because of working late (no big deal, I just missed set up). I had a bit of a cloud hanging around me, something just felt wrong. Maybe it was leaving my little Amoretta at home alone more than normal- I don’t know for sure. I just know that when I started hearing a funny noise coming from the back of my car after I had left Clint’s Comics that something was definitely not good.
I had no choice but to stop at an intersection in Midtown that’s not exactly savory. Let’s just say I was approximately 2 blocks from the two worst vagrant parks in town. Most of the business that goes down in that part of town (legally) happens during business hours only. I hop out quickly, hoping it’s just something stuck in my hubcap or maybe rolling heavily in my trunk…no such luck. My tire is flat…slashed by the looks of it. Wonderful. This will be tire #2 in less than 9 months. So I use my nearly dead phone to try to get a hold of my father in law or his wife to go straight to voicemail. There’s that battery life used up. I get a buddy on the line, thankfully, and he agrees to go pick up my boyfriend (who is phoneless himself, but that’s another pool-diving story) as I try to get roadside assistance on the line. Sidebar: whoever decided to bury “EMERGENCY roadside assistance” in automated menu hell deserves to burn in an eternity of automated message systems and telemarketing calls. I’m getting the jack under my car and someone stops to help. Let’s just say I wasn’t too big on this…someone walking downtown at nearly 10o’clock at night…I’m not one to judge, but it didn’t sit well. I stayed on the line with roadside as we got the thing fixed up and I’m finally back on the road when it hits me…my boyfriend’s birthday is in less than two weeks and now I’ve got to replace a tire. There goes that present. Oh? And the icing on the cake of the whole ordeal? I’m wearing a damn dress today. Go figure.
Anyways! To finally get to my point…dogs are amazing. The second I walked inside, my little beauty was sitting there just wagging away with her little stump. It’s like she read my mind (I’m positive she read my mood) because she spent the next ten minutes tossing her tennis ball as if to amuse Mommy alone. She’s really a little ball of wonder with the cutest expressions. I realize I’m highly biased, but damn I’ve got an awesome dog. Dogs are seriously amazing, just saying. I’m not sure what I’d do without her.